Braden's BaptismBraden was baptized on Saturday, and it was such a special experience for all of us. I had been really emotional about it all week because I knew that we wouldn't have many in attendance. I was so sad that we were having his baptism so far from friends and family. It takes me a while to make friends, so we didn't really invite many people, and I was so worried that it would hurt his feelings that more people didn't come. I was also having a hard time thinking of who to ask for help with things like playing the piano. But in the end, it all came together.

It was a real family affair. I conducted the songs Braden had chosen, and Morgan played the piano (beautifully). Lydia gave the opening prayer, followed by a talk on baptism given by Morgan. Then, Morgan baptized Braden, and it was beautiful. After they dried off and got dressed in their suits, Lydia, Morgan and I did a special musical number. Morgan played the piano, while Lydia and I sang "I'm Trying to Be Like Jesus." I had made a slide presentation of pictures of Jesus to play while we were singing, and I think it turned out really well. Lydia sang so loudly and clearly, and it was a real challenge for me to make it through the song without crying! It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about her sweet, strong voice singing, "I'm trying to be like Jesus, I'm following in his ways . . ." After the special number, I gave a talk on the Gift of the Holy Ghost, and then Morgan confirmed Braden. It was beautiful, simple. I'm glad that it was just us. And between the Ward Mission Leader and his family, the Bishop, Primary president, and our good friends, the Seguins, there were plenty of people there, and Braden was happy.

After the baptism, we went into the gym for refreshments. We did it later in the day, and I didn't want people to have to go home and make dinner, so I made a ton of refreshments! We had pigs in blankets, a veggie tray, cheese and crackers, rice crispy treats and cranberry punch. All at Braden's request. The only thing that he really wanted, that I didn't make, was pumpkin pie. I told him I would make him a pie for home.

I think we will all remember this day as a happy one. I am glad that, even though we weren't surrounded by all of our friends and family, that it brought us closer as a family. It was so special to come together as a family and support Braden on his special day.

Our Baby

It is amazing to watch the growth of our baby. I have been so spoiled by my German doctor, because I have had an ultrasound at every one of my three appointments so far. That is just how they do it here, and I love it! The first ultrasound, at about six weeks, was just a picture of a little dot. But it was reassuring to know that the baby was developing in the proper place, and looked good. Two weeks later, at about eight weeks, it still looked like a little blob, but it was much bigger, and the heartbeat was visible. Because the insurance companies in the States don't pay for ultrasounds, I have usually had to wait until almost this point to even hear a heartbeat, and have sometimes wondered if I was really even pregnant! But there is no question that there is a growing baby in there this time!

Today was the first time Morgan has been able to come with me to an appointment this pregnancy, and I'm so glad he did! The visit was very short, but it was so fun to see our baby moving around, and to see all of his/her limbs, complete with hands and feet.

It is interesting, because when I was pregnant with Braden, that was all I could think about. It was much the same with Lydia, and then when I finally got pregnant again with Liam, the kids were old enough, and Morgan and I had been wanting it for so long, that we thought about it all of the time. But this time, there are times when I almost forget that I am pregnant (usually when I am not nauseated). I think it is because I am so busy running three children around to soccer, dance, music (Liam just started a Music Together class on Tuesdays), Cub Scouts, Girl Scouts (did I mention that I am Lydia's Daisy Girl Scout Leader? Am I crazy?!), etc. Also, Liam is still so little, and I am still getting up with him several times a night -- ugh! It doesn't seem quite real that I could possibly be expecting another one! But I am so excited, and so are Morgan and the kids.

I was interested to see Liam's reaction to a newborn the other day at his music class. There was a sleeping baby in her carseat, and he didn't notice her until the end of class. But when he did, he was determined to look at her and touch her, and screamed when I tried to pull him away. I'm sure he'll be a very attentive big brother.

I am going to have this baby in a German hospital. I have the option of using the American facilities, but our insurance also pays for the civilian doctors, so we are using them. The hospital, from what I hear, is very nice, and I even have the option of having the baby in water! I hear that it is very relaxing, and helps a lot with the pain. I am not decided, though, because I am not a big fan of being wet (I love to be in water, but I hate being wet and having to dry off afterwards). But the kids heard me telling Morgan about that option, and every once in a while they bring it up and beg me to "please have the baby in water!" We'll see!

The German system is different in that the doctors I see right now specialize in only prenatal care, and never deliver babies. So the doctor who delivers will just be whoever is on duty when I go into labor. But they do assign every laboring mother with a midwife who stays with her during labor and delivery, and even comes to visit us at home after we are discharged. I think it will be a great experience.

Real

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
-- The Velveteen Rabbit, Margery Williams
Braden has a stuffed dog named Chester, who he received for Christmas from his Mom-Mom, one of his Great Grandmothers, when he was one. Braden loves Chester as if he were a real, breathing dog. And I am convinced that Chester is real now. He started out his life almost seven years ago as a fluffy, soft, shiny-eyed puppy. Now, his fur is matted, his stuffing is separating, and his eyes are scratched. But Braden doesn't see this when he looks at him. He is Braden's comfort and friend through all of the changes and trials he has had to go through. When Braden has had to be without his Daddy for years at a time, Chester has been there. When Braden has been scared to move and make new friends, he has always had his friend Chester. And it was Chester who comforted me on Braden's first day of kindergarten when I cried into his fur because I missed my boy.

But Chester has grown to also be a friend who Braden wants to share happy times with. We just spent the long weekend at Legoland Deutschland. Braden brought Chester with us in the car one morning when we left the hotel to go have fun at the amusement park. I told him he would have to leave him in the car, because I am so afraid of losing him. But he persisted, and we decided to let him ride in the basket of Liam's stroller. But Braden made sure that Chester could see-- he wanted to make sure that he was able to enjoy Legoland with us.

Of course, Chester comes from a long line of "real" friends. Before him, Morgan had an Eeyore doll (who is characteristically missing his tail).

My Kermit saw me through many years. I received him for my 6th birthday from my Uncle Bobby. I don't know why Kermit became so special to me, but I truly loved him. It may be that shortly after I received him my sister Lydia got really sick, and he was a comfort to me at that time. But Kermit ended up accompanying me to college, and then to Romania for my mission. My Dad decided that Kermit shouldn't be excluded from my wedding, so he dressed him up in a tie for the occassion. Kermit is even in some of the pictures! Kermit and Eeyore now sit in places of honor in our toyroom -- up high where they can't be played with, because they don't have any more "play" in them. But they still have love, and even though I love to purge and get rid of things that I don't use, they aren't going anywhere. They have earned a place in our family.

I am glad that Braden is still so sweet and innocent, and has so much love for his "real" friend. One day, Chester won't always be in the crook of his arm. He will grow up and Chester will be left behind. But I wouldn't be surprised if Chester one day has a place of honor in my grandchildren's playroom.