My Turn

As I sit here peacefully, with all three children tucked into bed -- bathed, read to, teeth brushed, clothes laid out, snuggled and kissed -- I truly experience my first relaxing moment of the day. It is like this every day. From the time we wake up in the morning, until they are tucked in at night, it is constant motion. But when they are all sleeping peacefully, I can revel in the accompishments of the day:

1. They are all still alive. I find it sad that right now one of my biggest accomplishments each day is that I managed to keep my children alive. Whether it is saving Braden and Lydia from on-coming traffic as we cross the street from the bus stop in the afternoons, or the myriad of rescues performed on Liam -- scooping food from his esophagus, catching him as he tries to launch himself from the back of the furniture onto the tile floors, saving him from unthinkable germs and viruses from his toilet-swimming escapades . . . this list goes on and on. But when they are all tucked in bed, those worries for their safety fade. I can finally breathe.

2. Nope, that's it. I kept them alive. Nothing else seems to matter. I may have done 15 loads of laundry, balanced the checkbook, gone grocery shopping, or even managed to write a post on my blog, but it all pales in comparison. Nothing else seems important.

I know that it will not always be like this. That I will not always be so afraid for their safety (at least in the way I am now -- I shudder to think about them getting driver's licences). Someday I might be able to look back on my day and feel proud of something other than successfully sterilizing the house after an outbreak of strep throat. But when that "someday" comes, they may not want me to cuddle with them before bed. They probably won't let me pick out their clothes. They might not want to tell me everything. Lydia may outgrow butterfly kisses, and Braden probably won't let me hold his hand.

Sometimes I think about my Mom when I was growing up. She had 8 children, and at the time, it seemed like she was always either pregnant or had a new baby. I am the oldest, so I got to watch as our family grew. That was her time to be at home with all of her little ones. Now, the youngest is 17, and she is in a different phase of life. She works full-time and is a grandmother. Her days aren't filled with diapers and runny noses like they once were.

Someday, I will be the working grandma too. But right now, it is my turn. There are so many books, magazines, and blogs written about different women's journeys through motherhood, written by women who are having their turn right now as well. I hope that I can always remember that the days filled with tantrums, runny noses, messes, near-death experiences, won't last forever. Right now it is my turn, and I choose to enjoy it.

Introducing Liam

It occurred to me recently that very few members of our friends and family really know Liam. When Braden and Lydia were babies we lived with family in MD, and friends and family alike got to know them really well. They have special relationships with grandparents, aunts, uncles and lifetime friends that were started during those first months of life. But most of our friends and family have only seen Liam once (if that), and I want them to get to know him, even if it is only in cyberspace.

Yesterday I was looking at a picture of Braden when he was 18 months old, and I was amazed at how similar the two boys look. I had never realized how much they look alike. But they are also completely unique, and have their own distinct personalities.

My alone time with Liam each day when the kids are at school is such a joy to me. He is such a busy boy who loves to climb onto the dining room table, attempt to launch himself from the back of the couch, climb onto chairs and stand up, etc., but he can also be extremely calm, and is no problem to take to the grocery store or errand-running. He is Mommy's boy, and although people in the store try to talk to him, he hides his face in my chest, and gives them dirty looks (I always tell people "it must be naptime" so as not to hurt their feelings).

A typical day with my little angel is like this: At 7 a.m. he wakes up and starts talking in his crib. I go in and say "Good morning, Sunshine," and kiss his warm, soft sleepy cheeks. We walk the big kids to the bus stop, and return to have breakfast. He likes feeding himself these days, and won't eat if I try to feed him. He eats yogurt, raisins or bananas, and cereal for breakfast.

He then plays (or we run errands, etc.). He enjoys playing with cars and trucks, and throwing balls. His favorite word is "ball!" and he says it all the time. Recently he discovered slides, when we took the kids to an indoor play place called Kinder Spiel. So I used some leftover birthday money to buy him his own little slide that I set up in the basement with some riding toys. Now, when we see slides he says, "wheeeeeee!"

Sometime between 10:30 and 11:30 he is ready for a nap, and he usually sleeps for two hours. Sleeping has been a real struggle for us. I practiced "attachment parenting" with him when he was a newborn. He slept with us in bed for the first 6 months, and even after that, when we tried to get him to sleep part of the night in his own crib, he ended up in bed with us for most of the night. I also held him for most of his naps for the first 6 months (they are only little once, and I didn't want to miss a chance to cuddle!). But when he reached a year old, it was just time for him to sleep in his own bed for the whole night, and he wasn't interested. We struggled for several months. We had just moved, I was newly-pregnant, and he was still nursing, so the lack of sleep at night was an especial hardship for me. But miraculously, one night, when he was 16 months old, he went down to bed with very little complaint, and only woke up once. He didn't even want to nurse, just to be cuddled. After that, he started to nap more regularly, and that is where we are at now. Putting him down for a nap is a special time for us each day. He usually lets me know when he is ready to take a nap. For instance, today he made the sign for "more" (tapping his fingertips together), and then pointed up (to where his bedroom is). We then go into his room, and I darken it by putting the ruladen down (I'll tell you about my favorite German house feature in another post, but they make the room completely dark even during the day!), and we cuddle for a minute before I lay him peacefully into his crib. Sometimes while we are cuddling, he lifts his head to look at me, and speaks a whole line of Liam-ese, smiles, and then lays his head back down. I think he is telling me how much he loves me. Whatever he is saying, I certainly feel his love.

Later in the day we walk to the bus stop to pick up the big kids, and he gets so excited when he sees their bus. He spends the rest of the day following them around, trying to play with them.

I think my favorite moment of each day is right after his bath, when he is warm, wet, and wrapped up in a towel. We snuggle and look at each other in the mirror. There is just something so comforting about snuggling with a warm, clean, happy baby. I love that feeling!

Liam is such an easy-going baby. He loves to laugh, be happy, and make other people happy. He likes to put on Mr. Potatohead glasses and walk around with a silly grin on his face. He is starting to learn to color (even if it is occassionally on the floors and tables). He is fearless, which instills great fear in me! He loves his Daddy. Whenever Morgan comes home from work, his whole face lights up, and if Morgan has to go to a different room, Liam shrieks! Yes, he shrieks like Braden did -- that high pitched sound that makes me want to poke my eyes out! He is unique, and he brings this family so much joy. If you don't know him well, I hope you get a chance to meet him in the future. He is definitely someone not to miss.

Frogs and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails . . .

That's what our baby is made of! Yes, we found out yesterday that we are having another baby boy. Morgan is in France for the month, so he called me during a break because I wanted him to be the first to know.

Last night, I took the kids to the food court on base for dinner. As we were finishing up, Morgan called my cell phone. So he talked to the kids while we walked to the BX. Once we reached the baby clothes, I asked him to tell Braden what color of clothing we should look at. I heard Braden say, "blue?" but it hadn't sunk in yet. Then I asked them, "if we're looking at blue baby clothes, what does that mean?" Braden seemed excited. Lydia, who had promised not to cry, just looked dazed, and said, "I'm going to have three brothers?" I think she'll be fine, but I do feel sorry for her that she won't get to experience having a sister. That is, of course, unless we go for baby number five, but there is still no guarantee that she will have a sister, and I certainly don't want to be the one to tell her that she is going to have four brothers!

She is in good company, though. My mom has three brothers, and Morgan's dad comes from a family with three boys and one girl, so Aunt Linda will also be able to sympathize. The funny thing is, that Grandma and Grandpa Hanners' family was very similar to how ours is turning out. They had a boy (Dad), a girl, a boy, and then moved to Germany and had their last baby -- another boy! Morgan even looks like Grandpa! Hmmm, maybe I should start learning about azalea farming -- that just might be in my future.

Playing Catch-up

Morgan is on his way to Nice, France for the next month right now, and I wanted to get back into posting so he can see pictures of the family. I have been meaning to post these pictures for a while now, so this entry is going to be slightly disjointed, with lots of random pictures. Here is Braden singing at his St. Nikolaus Day program at school on December 6. They sang traditional German carols -- in German.

Christmas Market:We went to the Kaiserslautern Christmas Market. This is a giant replica of one of their traditional Christmas decorations -- a Weihnachts Piramid (Christmas Pyramid). Each level of the pyramid has a different scene from the nativity story, and they spin around, powered by candles making the blades of the fan rotate. The bottom of this pyramid was a concession stand for mulled wine.This is the nativity scene at the Kaiserslautern Christmas market.

Christmas Eve:No babies were harmed in the filming of this picture. We did a small nativity reenactment on Christmas eve. Lydia was Mary, Braden was Joseph, and Liam was the angel. Morgan was the master mind behind the special effects in this picture. No, Liam isn't really floating above the Holy Family, and he hasn't grown 5 feet. Morgan is the "man behind the curtain."I loved our Christmas tree this year. It wasn't a "perfect" department store tree, but it was perfect for us.

Christmas Morning:

The kids were so excited on Christmas morning. We had stayed on top of buying and wrapping presents throughout the season, so Morgan and I weren't up until the wee hours of the morning this year. We were in bed by 10, and the kids actually let us sleep until 8 a.m.! They all got what they had asked Santa for: Braden got two video games, Lydia got a wooden dollhouse, and Liam got a wooden rocking horse (okay, so Liam didn't know he wanted that, but he has really been enjoying it!). They loved all of their presents from their grandparents, and have really been enjoying vacation and playing with all of their new treasures.

On Christmas eve, while we were walking to our neighbor's house for dinner, we were mesmerized by the beautiful scene down the road. It hadn't snowed yet, but the field down the road was covered in sparkling frost. Everything was silver. We hadn't brought our camera, so Morgan walked down there on Christmas day and took these pictures.

Camping in the New Year:

Grandma sent us all new sleeping bags for Christmas, and Lydia had the idea of having a "Camp in." So for our New Year's Eve festivities, we roasted hot dogs and marshmallows in our fireplace and "camped" in our living room. We watched movies, ate popcorn and treats, and had a great time. At midnight, we watched a fireworks display from our window. Everyone sets off fireworks to celebrate the New Year in Germany, so we got a pretty good show just from the local residents' displays. We all had a wonderful time.

We hope you are all enjoying 2008, and that you had a wonderful holiday season!